DA defends Sludgement Day title

Tracklocross Sludgement Day Race Report

Pre Race Hype

1. As I’ve said before the only thing more fun than racing is bench racing and talking shit. The lead up to Sludgement Day had plenty of this. All it did was add fuel to the fire. Each time some internet troll claimed last year’s win was due to the mountain bike it just increased my motivation. Claiming my stake on the race win was merely a self motivation tactic that would ensure I was ready. When you act like some overconfident asshole you better have the race to back it up.

2. Equipment. Trimble bikes have a long history of being banned. They have been barred from everything from the 86 World Time Trial Championships to Sludgement Day. I guess there just isn’t something right about showing up with a piece of equipment that is far superior to your competition. Besides from having Mountain Bikes banned I wanted to prove that I could hack it off road on a brakeless track bike. I rigged up a setup about two hours before the race that I hoped would work. This included a steel mountain bike fork dug out of the trash. Lucking even without a bearing race it seemed to spin on the integrated headset of the Bianchi. I borrowed Neil’s cyclocross tires and they just barely cleared the frame. I’m sure the designer of the Pista Concept would love to see photos of the rig.

3. Conditions. The rain was miserable. I showed up to the start line completely soaked and freezing cold. One of my main competitors Joshua Robot was already in a hypothermic state. He didn’t sound too confident. My confidence grew. I tried to stay calm and sought out warmth wherever I could. I even hung out in the stadium bathroom for twenty minutes trying to regain feeling in my hands.

4. Competition. The guys I worried about the most in order were Crihs, Austin and Joshua Robot. Crihs mainly because he knew the island from last year and had revenge on his mind. We’ve been battling it out all year and he’s proven to be extremely tough to beat. Austin likes to show up last minute and pretend to be unprepared while acting like he’s the shit and will easily win. This tactic is intimidating but fails from time to time. Joshua has been scaring me for six months as every time we speak I get a story about some epic mountain bike race. He’s fast off road and had a custom built machine with one goal in mind.

Race

Lap 1.

We received the map and I instantly knew in general where almost every check point was. The first checkpoint was going to be the trickiest as there was no way to tell which connecting paths to the hospital would be open. My tactic would be to hang with the lead pack, establish the route and then put the throttle down. Obviously the start would be important. I grabbed the hole shot and led the field around the river edged path. The pace was fast. My gear which had felt heavy was spinning freely beneath me. I turned hard onto the wood slate bridge and hit the deck hard. In an instant the lateral grip between my tires and the slick surface disappeared. Normally when you crash in a race it doesn’t hurt because you’re loose, warm, and at full adrenaline. This crash hurt. I got back on the bike but my leg wouldn’t move. My ankle and hip were burning. In the distance Austin, Crihs, and Angry Drew drove the pace hard. I struggled to regain composure. Luckily nobody knew the route to the first checkpoint. Meanwhile in another part of the island Joshua Robat and Joe Reynolds had already knocked out the first two checkpoints building up a huge lead on the wandering lost peloton.

Once the first checkpoint routing issue was resolved the pack arrived at the second checkpoint together. I remember watching Corey spin his ridiculously small gear through the mud. His bike would have been perfect if we had raced on the beach. I attacked back on the road and the field strung out. Austin was right behind and followed me through the long mud road underneath the overpass to checkpoint #3. This point of the race was confusing. There were riders going every direction across the island. I nearly had several head on collisions. How the fuck did these guys end up going the wrong way into the lead pack at this point in the race? After checkpoint #3 we made the turn and there was self proclaimed checkpoint worker Doug yelling at us to ride through these two huge puddles of water (for better pictures apparently). My wheel sunk to the hub but I stayed upright and carried on the momentum to the next checkpoint. I made it there first followed by Austin. The rest of the lead pack was sprinkling in. Confusion and panic swept over us as nobody had a signature for Checkpoint #4. I double backed to Doug. Austin tried to outsmart me and went the opposite direction thinking that the checkpoint was further up the island.

I sprinted back to Doug screaming at him to sign my manifest. He told me that the picture on his camera was the signature. I didn’t see anyone else around so I took his word and rode off towards the last checkpoint. As I hit the road section I spotted the group of Austin, Crihs, and filmmaker Lucas Brunelle. I realized they were now on their way back to checkpoint #4. I yelled at Lucas to follow me since I now had a significant advantage over that group. At the next checkpoint I passed Gabriel Allen. I couldn’t figure out how he was so far ahead of me until I heard him in full panic about not being able to find Checkpoint #5 (which was WAY back in the other direction). At this point I hadn’t seen Joshua Robot and had no idea where he was.

Upon reaching Drew I was approached from the other direction by Robot and Joe. They apparently couldn’t find that checkpoint and squandered their huge lead. When we hit the road it was clear that we were the lead trio. Nobody else we even remotely in sight.

Lap 2

The lap was fast. I was flanked by Robot and Joe. We worked together on the flats. I had no idea who Joe was so I assumed that it was luck that put him into the lead group. I watched their legs spin and realized I had a much better gear for the flats. Everyone abandoned their manifests and began having body parts signed. We became very efficient at getting in and out of the checkpoints (the workers were obviously inexperienced as they would sign off and then instruct us to do something stupid like jumping jacks which we would obviously ignore). After checkpoint 2 I attacked and gained ground on the flats. Leaving checkpoint #3 we had to snake around a sketchy grass path. I was impressing myself by being able to ride it but Joe was gaining time. The rest of this lap is a blur. From what I remember Drew yelled at us about missing checkpoint 4 on the first lap. Finishing the lap Joe and I had gaped Robot ever so slightly.

Lap 3

The next lap the pace increased. I felt confident that I could put the final death stab into my two companions. I opened up a large lead on the road and held it all the way to checkpoint #6. Drew yelled at me some more and I was instructed to stop by the start finish line with some sort of stop and go penalty for the first lap infraction. Running through the lumpy brush section my rear wheel got jammed with a huge section of bush. As I stopped and struggled to free my rear wheel Joe closed the gap and sailed past into the lead gaining perhaps 200 yards. Robot also closed back to my rear wheel. For the first time in the race I was on the defensive.

Lap 4

I stayed calm and pushed my superior gear ratio to bridge back to Joe as we approached the first checkpoint. He looked behind a bit startled that I had come back to him. I took control of the front and dictated the pace on the flats and mud roads. I tried a few small attacks but they were instantly shut down. The head wind was increasing and I was on the verge of oxygen debt. Robot no longer seem to be in contact. Joe constantly displayed his cyclocross skills. He could dismount with ease and was faster running his bike and weaving through the mud. My main concern was leaving Drew’s 6th checkpoint. Joe had spring in his legs and try as I might he was much faster through the brush. He was well aware of this advantaged and attacked as we entered the homeless compound connecting section. I was dropped once again leaving the checkpoint and I started the last lap with ground to make up.

Lap 5.

My confidence for the win was shot. Joe happened to be much faster in the most critical part of the race course. Over the last two laps he had opened up a significant lead across the start/finish line. I knew that if I were to win the move would happen long before checkpoint 6. I again bridged up before the first checkpoint. We were now encountering massive amounts of lapped traffic. We both struggled to fight our way through the sporadic and unpredictable moving obstacles that threatened to affect our race. One slip on this lap and the race was over. We had to remain glued to each others wheel. Joe’s strategy must have been to keep me in close contact knowing that he would drop me leaving checkpoint 6. I was determined to prevent that scenario. I dictated the pace leading through checkpoints 2, 3, 4, and 5. This proved to be the winning strategy (and is honed with experience in alleycats). We hit checkpoint 5 together and Crazy Nick had taken control of the pen. He drunkenly signed my hand (I think he may have been writing a poem). I yelled at him to hurry. Joe waited patiently. As soon as Crazy Nick was done I attacked. Joe sat helpless as I opened the winning gap. The stretch between 5 and 6 on the last lap was the most painful of the entire race. I raced through the brush holding my lead over Joe (for the first time in the race I didn’t lose any ground on this section). Once we entered the pavement the race was mine.

Conclusion. This race is hard. You need confidence when flying through debris strewn mud roads. The first lap is hectic and while you can’t win it you can certainly lose the race here. I think it could be fun to remove the navigating aspect of the race and let everyone pre ride the course in advance. The wheel to wheel action more than makes up for the excitement of becoming lost on the island. The perfect bike for this race is a fixed gear bike with cyclocross tires. There are no hills so brakes and multiple gears will just complicate things. A big gear is needed because 75% of the race is on paved roads. Somebody better step up and organize this race next year. I would love to but I have to defend my title again.